Feb 262012

Don’t you just love those social surveys that tell you that the animal you’re most like is a ferret? Or, how about the one that asks things such as your favorite color, sports team, shirt size, and zodiac sign so that they can tell which clothing retailer’s advertisements to send you.

I usually don’t fall for this foolishness. But this was a Facebook friend asking stuff. It was, in fact, my first-born son asking stuff. He wasn’t asking me; I was just lurking. He should have know better. He was obviously just making trouble. I’ll show him trouble.

So, he asks: “Philosophical question for the artistic types… If you had to choose between doing a decent job with something completely new, innovative, and groundbreaking, or an excellent job at something tried-and-true, which would you pick?”

So, being a considerate and accommodating daddy, I gave a philosophical answer:

David Satterlee

      • My only experience is with really putting my foot in it, completely new or tried-and-true. I think I would just stick with my talent. There’s just something warm and comfortable about about a good, well-worn rut. Then again, at my age, I’m more likely to break wind than break new ground. Then again again, breaking wind is tried-and-true and I do such an excellent job of it. Yeah, I pick that one. I pick my nose too, and do an excellent job of that. I don’t pick up my socks so much, but if I wear them all week, I can just throw them in the wash with everything else. That’s when I get out a completely new sock and really put my foot in it. What was the question?

Oops, now I’ve gone and posted it again. Boy, do I really know how to put my foot in it.

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Nov 192011

Occupy Dayton IowaI moved to Dayton, a little town of 800 in rural Iowa. The local phone Coop had already installed fiber cable to the premise. The real estate prices are amazingly low – especially if you are willing to do a little work on a classic workman’s Victorian. Iowa is littered with such small, comfortable retirement nests. Drink coffee in the morning with our rugged, aged, native “children of the corn.” Put out a chair on the lawn of your acreage and listen to the August corn grow. No big hyper-bank planted on main street to boycott: everybody at the local bank knows your name… and your business. Please support all the many kids selling stuff for school fundraisers.




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May 312011

Dear Ask Amy,

I have been having trouble getting responses from my friends on Facebook when I make witty comments.

For instance, An Aunt on my Mother’s side posted that she was feeling tired and puffy. One of her friends replied that maybe she had the jaundice. I suggested that maybe she had the Michelin, but nobody made any more comments to either of us after mine. Maybe they didn’t understand. The Michelin Man is made out of tires. Get it? And he looks all puffy. Or maybe my comment was just so spot on brilliant that nobody had the courage to try to top it. But, I’m having trouble figuring out which way it is.

Another time, someone mentioned that a customer had broken a contract. I told them that it was a good thing that they didn’t live in ancient Egypt when contracts were written in hieroglyphics on clay tablets because then when someone broke a contract it was literally broken. Nobody commented on that one either.

My question is this: can you tell me if I am funny or not?

Hilarious in Harrisburg

Dear Hilarious,

I’m not going to touch that with a ten-foot Hungarian. Just don’t give up your day job. Also, never stoop to explaining a joke. If it crashes and dies, just bury it.

Copyright 2011, David Satterlee

Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0), which essentially says that you are free to share the work under the conditions that you attribute it fully, do not use it for commercial purposes, and do not alter it.

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