Creating Positive Feelings About the Past

 Intrapersonal Intelligence, Positive Psychology  No Responses »
Feb 142010
 
Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 5

Gratitude Survey

(Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons)

1 = Strongly disagree – 7 = Strongly agree

  1. I have so much in life to be thankful for.
  2. If I had to list everything that I felt grateful for, it would be a very long list.
  3. When I look at the world, I don’t see much to be grateful for.
  4. I am grateful to a wide variety of people.
  5. As I get older, I find myself more able to appreciate the people, events, and situations that have been part of my life history.
  6. Long amounts of time can go by before I feel grateful to something or someone.

(Reverse scores on 3, 6)
6-35 Lower Quarter, 36-38 bottom half, 39-41 top four, 42 top eighth

Gratitude journal

Suggestion to keep a record for 14 days, noting the things for which you are grateful. Racket the exercise with the Life Satisfaction and General Happiness scales to compare scores. But

Feelings about the past depend on memory interpretation and assigned meaning. Gratitude amplifies good feelings about the past. The opposite is also true.

As a South African leader, Nelson Mandela redirected past bitterness toward reonciliation.

Some believe that righteous anger honors the victim and promotes justice.

How to forgive – REACH

  • Recall the hurt objectively
  • Empathize with others
  • Altruistically give the gift of forgiveness
  • Commit to forgive publicly
  • Hold onto forgiveness that

Weighing up your life

Find a time annually to evaluate your life satisfaction and compare it with previous years.

Summary

3 ways to feel happier about the past

  • Intellectual-determined that the past does not dictate your future
  • Become more grateful for the good things in your past
  • Learn how to forgive past wrongs

Satisfaction With the Past

 Positive Psychology  No Responses »
Feb 132010
 

Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 5

Satisfaction with Life Scale

1 = Strongly disagree – 7 = Strongly agree

  • · In most ways, my life is close to my ideal.
  • · The conditions of my life are excellent.
  • · I am completely satisfied my life.
  • · So far, I have gotten the important things I want in life.
  • · If I could live my life over, I would change nothing.

30-35 Extremely satisfied, much above average
25-29 Very satisfied, above average
20-24 Somewhat satisfied, average for American adults
15-19 Slightly dissatisfied, a bit below average
10-14 Dissatisfied, clearly below average
5-9 Very dissatisfied, much below average

Emotions about the past

May include: contentment, serenity, pride, satisfaction—bitterness, anger

Determined by thoughts and assigned meaning

Freudian view: The content of thought is caused by emotion

Aaron Beck – The leading theorist of cognitive therapy: emotion is generated by cognition

The thinking/feeling connection

There is evidence for both thought driving feeling and for feeling driving thought

Dwelling in the past – does the past determine the future? (Generally no)

The more you believe that the past determines the future, the more passive you’ll be.

Charles Darwin believed that successful individuals contributed to species evolution through reproductive success.

Karl Marx believed that economic forces contributed to future developments.

Sigmund Freud believed that childhood experiences created later psychological characteristics

Effects of negative childhood events on adults

Effects of childhood on adulthood are probably overrated. The evidence is minor. Many studies did not control for genetic influences. This is the nature vs. nurture issue.

Cognitive therapy: Aaron (Tim) Beck invented cognitive therapy, a popular talk therapy for depression. It attempts to redirect negative talk about the past into positive thought about the present and future.

Venting anger: Venting has recently been considered authentic, honest, and healthy. It turns out that venting anger is not productive. Gratitude and savoring are, in fact, more healthful.

About Savoring

 Positive Psychology  No Responses »
Feb 082010
 

The concept of savoring is not so much “stopping to smell the roses” or making time once a day to appreciate something and log the exceptional event. Savoring should be the usual experience of pleasure that comes from a meaningful life lived in mindfulness and gratitude – an ongoing positive subjective experience.

Seligman’s research into character strengths includes “Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence,” which is important to obtaining the most satisfaction from opportunities for savoring. Although “living in the moment” (being mindful of now and savoring current experience) it seems likely that past savoring can set the stage for, and enhance, present appreciations in a self-reinforcing spiral of positivity and sense of well-being and rightfulness. I doubt that holding positive memories or positive expectations prevents our living in the moment; it would be only dwelling negatively on past regrets or future fears that is damaging.

Fred Bryant in “Savoring” points out that savoring can be enjoyed in three temporal forms. We can anticipate the future, enjoy the present moment, and reminisce over past satisfactions. I first noticed this principal while growing up in my parents’ home. My father married late and struggled with an 8th grade education and a learning disability. Nonetheless, he was a skilled craftsman at his work and sacrificed himself at hard labor into his late 60’s to support his family. Dad’s indulgence was to take a long driving vacation into the Rocky Mountains every two years. He would regularly put aside small amounts into a vacation fund for those two years. He would spend a full year planning and anticipating the next trip, indulge himself (and us with him) in whitewater rafting, remote camping, and excursion rides and, after returning home, spend the next year pulling out pictures and telling friends about the trip.

Satisfying Life Experiences

 Positive Psychology, Psychology  No Responses »
Feb 072010
 

Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 6

Satisfying Life Experiences

The most satisfying life experiences tend to be those involving self-respect, accomplishment and social relatedness. They notably did not include exercising power influence or acquiring material or physical gratification. Cultures that emphasize community responsibility are less likely to identify self-directed activities as producing happiness. The classic elements of the “American Dream” have a dark side: “materialism is toxic for happiness. ”

Self assessment exercise.

  1. In most ways my life is close to my ideal.
  2. The conditions of my life are excellent.
  3. I am satisfied with my life.
  4. So far I have gotten the important things I want in life.
  5. If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.
Flow

Flow, total involvement in a challenge, is an altered state of consciousness that produces genuine satisfaction with experiences. It is very enjoyable to be fully absorbed and engaged in such an activity. It does not arise from passivity but from active engagement with life. The specific activity is not so important as the way in which it is performed.

Interpreting life events

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln

One’s interpretation of an event may differ from person to person. While some remain chronically unhappy others are capable of seeing a silver lining in the events of their lives.

Maximization and Regret

Orientation poured goals may be characterized as satisfying or maximizing. A satisfier is content to meet expectations. A maximizer tries to achieve the best result in every situation; they plan were carefully, set higher standards, but may suffer negative emotions when the results do not satisfy their expectations. They are more prone to experiencing regret, unfavorable comparison to others, and reduced life satisfaction. Maximizers also strive to keep their options open, often been less satisfied with the outcome.

Savoring

Contemporary life often promotes feelings of urgency and the desire to multi task. Conversely, the ability to slow down and savor experience adds richness, vividness, and satisfaction to life. Slowing down to “smell the roses” increases happiness.

Gratitude

Gratitude extends appreciation for positive outcomes from oneself to a wide range of other contributors. This also increases intrinsic self-esteem and perception of social support. People expressing gratitude avoid taking life events for granted; they are less prone to negative emotions, are more empathetic, and less focused on materialistic goals. They feel happier and present themselves to others as happier.

Examining and Pursuing Happiness

 Positive Psychology, Psychology  No Responses »
Feb 052010
 

Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 6

Satisfaction with Life Scale

Are most people happy?

A large majority of people in the United States report themselves as being happy. This result is common to most populations around the world. Oddly, most people see themselves as happier than others especially the popular, powerful and educated.

Why be happy?

Happy people are healthier, live longer, work more productively and have higher incomes, are more tolerant, more creative, and make decisions more easily, select challenging goals, are more persistent, have greater empathy, more friends, and better marriages. Much of this reflects an improved ability to function in social situations. But

“There is no duty we sell underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.” Robert Louis Stevenson

Who is happy?

Men and women report roughly equal levels of happiness and satisfaction. The same equality holds true across the age spectrum. Factors including formal education, IQ, and race also fail to affect happiness. Married people report more happiness than single who, in turn report more happiness than divorced or separated. Spiritual practice tends to increase happiness and tend to experience fewer negative life circumstances. It seems important that basic needs be met, but material abundance above those basic needs does not increase happiness.

“The happiest people all seem to have good friends.” Psychologist Ed Diener

The happiest people tend to be highly social, and spend the most time in the company of others. They tend to be extroverts and have the desire and ability to build strong social relationships. In one study, conscientiousness, with goal setting, personal control, and purposeful achievement, strongly correlated with life satisfaction. Happy people tend to experience high intrinsic self-esteem; they’re optimistic about themselves and their circumstances.

Pursuing Happiness
  • Do not interpret material achievement as happiness and success in life.
  • Compare yourself, and set your expectations, relative to those who have less.
  • Keep a gratitude journal and review it to remember the things you appreciate.
  • Discover the activities that allow you to experience a sense of flow and learn to reproduce those circumstances.
  • Commit to your goals, finish what you start, and experience your effort with quiet mindfulness.
  • Have and enjoy the hobby. Prefer engagement with life too sedentary activities.
  • Build and maintain satisfying family and social relationships.
  • Volunteer your attention, creativity, and efforts in service to others.
  • Sustain a satisfying spiritual practice that builds hope.

    Lecture: Yale: Paul Bloom: Emotions

     Psychology, Sociology  No Responses »
    Dec 252009
     
    Lecture 11 – Evolution, Emotion, and Reason: Emotions, Part I

    This class is an introduction to the evolutionary analysis of human emotions, how they work, why they exist, and what they communicate.

    In particular, this lecture discusses three interesting case studies, that of happiness (e.g., smiling), fear and the emotions we feel towards our relatives.

    Finally, this lecture ends with a brief discussion of babies’ emotional responses to their caregivers.

    Watch it on Academic Earth

     

    Lecture 12 – Evolution, Emotion, and Reason: Emotions, Part II

    Professor Bloom continues the discussion of emotions as useful evolutionary adaptations for dealing with our social environment.

    In particular, this lecture describes evolutionary explanations for several important emotional responses, such as the love between parents and their offspring, the gratitude we feel towards cooperative behaviors, the spite we feel for cheaters, and the cultural differences in feelings of revenge.

    Watch it on Academic Earth

    Rhonda Byrne: The Secret

     Books  No Responses »
    Nov 282009
     

    About Rhonda Byrne

    image Author Rhonda Byrne, like each of us, has been on her own journey of discovery. Along the way, she brought together a superb team of authors, ministers, teachers, filmmakers, designers, and publishers to bring forth The Secret to the world, and through ver vision, bring joy to millions.

    Fragments of a Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it.

    In this book, you’ll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life — money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You’ll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that’s within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life.

    The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers — men and women who have used it to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. By applying the knowledge of The Secret, they bring to light compelling stories of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible.

    Shop at Amazon for:
    The Secret
    by: Rhonda Byrne

    In this book, you’ll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life — money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You’ll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that’s within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life.

    The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers — men and women who have used it to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. By applying the knowledge of The Secret, they bring to light compelling stories of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible.

    Shop at Amazon for:
    The Secret Daily Teachings
    by: Rhonda Byrne

    All around the world, The Secret is guiding millions to the life of their dreams. Now, with The Secret Daily Teachings, creator of The Secret Rhonda Byrne takes you through the next vital steps in living The Secret.

    With 365 brand new insights that build on The Secret’s powerful truths, your knowledge of the law of attraction is about to expand far beyond what you can imagine. More joy, abundance, and blessings — every single day of the year.

    Shop at Amazon for:
    The Secret Gratitude Book
    by: Rhonda Byrne

    The Secret continues to be the publishing phenomenon of the year, an international mega-bestseller that has inspired millions of people to live extraordinary lives. Now comes the only official, authorized companion book: The Secret Gratitude Book by Rhonda Byrne.
    The Secret Gratitude Book is one of the most powerful tools you can ever use to transform your life into total joy. When you use this book every day and write about all the things in your life you are grateful for, you will be amazed at the never-ending list of thoughts that come back to you of more things to be grateful for. You can use The Secret Gratitude Book to powerfully attract specific things that you want into your life in absolute abundance.
    The book is full of affirmations and insights written by Rhonda Byrne that allow you to bring joy and harmony to every aspect of your life. Inspired by Rhonda s writings, every day you will write a list of things you are grateful for now in your life, followed by a list of Gratitude Intentions all the things you want to come into your life.
    The Secret Gratitude Book is beautifully designed with a magnetic flap closer and a ribbon marker. It will help readers focus their energies and clearly and effectively maximize the law of attraction in their lives for six full months.
    There are no limits to the good that you can bring forth to you. By practicing gratitude daily, you will increase your magnetic power to attract a magnificent life beyond your wildest
    dreams.

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