Sep 232013
 

from the book: Life Will Get You in the End: Short stories by David Satterlee

Find out more, including where to buy books and ebooks

Read or download this story as a PDF file at:https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4eNv8KtePyKcDc5NS1HVmxGdjQ/edit?usp=sharing

The title is sung to the tune of: I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter” – a 1935 popular song with music by Fred E. Ahlert and lyrics by Joe Young. It has been recorded many times, and has become a standard of the Great American Songbook. It is one of several songs from theHarlem Renaissance featured in the Broadway musical Ain’t Misbehavin’. – Wikipedia

I’m gonna sit right down and write my love a letter…

My Dearest,

I love you – Simple – Direct – Plain
It doesn’t get any clearer than that. It just is; as it was meant to be. Timeless and absolute. I own your welfare. Your happiness, peace, comfort, security, and joy are all mine. If they weaken, I am anxious to restore them; when they soar, I rejoice.

I love you – Complex – Veiled – Intricate

How unfathomable you are! Lover of sunsets – Mother of girls – Teacher of children – Maker of bread – Singer of weddings – Grower of gardens – Sorter of buttons. So much more. So much deeper. So loveable and beloved. I begrudge time for slowing my knowledge of you.

I love you – I hold you close. 
I cherish the time we share together; the mundane and the stirring. Your presence is a comfort and a light. Your touch is a thrill and a craving. I eagerly give you my being and my aspirations. I gratefully accept your gifts of life and time.

I love you – I watch you fly.
Nothing grows when held too tightly. I treasure the experience of your individuality and change. Your achievements are my triumphs. Your commitments are my gifts. Your freedom to act independently increases what we can share.

I love you – I need your attention.
I am sustained and strengthened by all that we share. Your love builds up my power while giving to you strengthens my foundation. I am an indomitable force when directed; I am a child when lost. Working, living, and loving together creates a wondrous synergy.

 I love you – I trust your absence.

I cannot be your everything and should never aspire to that. But, we are linked at the highest levels of relationship. This trust endures time and trouble; it smoothes our time together and it eases our time apart. Go; do what needs doing and return to me when you’re done.

I love you!

Sep 202013
 

Setting limits

From the book: Chum for Thought: Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters by David Satterlee

Read or download this essay as a PDF file at:https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4eNv8KtePyKeExGUS1vT0E1cDg/edit?usp=sharing

Does Setting limits cause #isolation, loss of #intimacy, and even #alienation of #love?

Setting limits

Women often feel at a disadvantage in relationships with men. Social pressures, openly or unrecognized, can give men a dominant role. How is a woman to feel self-respect, personal worth, independence, initiative, control, and security? The common answer, these days, is to “set limits.”
Setting defensive limits makes intuitive sense. “That which cannot touch you cannot harm you.” But, at what cost in isolation, loss of intimacy, and even alienation of love? In fact, the issue of boundaries and limits can affect the character of any relationship, not just those between men and women.

Kinds of Limits

Parents and teachers are urged to set firm, appropriate limits for young children as part of youths’ guided moral development. The goal is for children to experience rich, genuine emotional lives while still conforming to “acceptable ethics” of justice and care in their relationships with others.
Initially, the idea of setting interpersonal limits was promoted as an act of enlightened consciousness; essentially a form of thinking: “sticks and stones … names can’t hurt me.” In this sense, setting limits defines ones internal perceptions of self. That is, thinking: “If other’s judgments of me are invalid, I do not have to embrace them.” This is a healthy state of mind that reflects appropriate emotional well-being and self-esteem. Such internal limits allow potentially-damaging emotional threats to simply drop away before wounding the ego.
Inevitably, however, the phrase “setting limits” creates images of walls, fences, and “lines in the sand.” This sense of the phrase is a last resort of desperation and confrontation. It defines external requirements on the behavior of others. This is saying: “Don’t tread on me; don’t even look at me funny.” Arising from an already-wounded state of mind that reflects acute and immediate fear, this form of external limits create boundaries that alienate us from each other.

Kinds of Relationships

If you have a real enemy, whom you want to keep away, by all means build a strong wall to force limits on their behavior. This will clearly define your firm and determined intent to maintain a relationship of distrust, fear, misunderstanding, or prejudice.
However, you may meet a person whom you want to know, love, and cherish. By all means, spend time with them, care about their welfare, encourage them to express themselves, listen with heartfelt interest, and respond in kindness even when they may need correction.
Mates open themselves even more intimately to each other; lowering their defenses, and becoming increasingly vulnerable. In consideration of the other’s tender openness, good friends or mates will voluntarily refrain from pointed emotional aggression. And, both will extend the “benefit of the doubt” when responding to the actions, words, and motives of the other.

Making the Choice

How will you relate to the world in general and to others as individuals? Adversarial-divisive relationships compete, insist on rights, demand justice, and are often driven by suspicion and fear. They cause us to withdraw into a defensive crouch, determined to define, conserve and defend our personal boundaries — pushing others away or striking out if we feel sufficiently threatened.
Supporting-nurturing relationships cooperate and draw people together. Based on empathy and mutual regard, these relationships spring from a heart filled with compassion, care and love. We stand with open arms, ready to share, invest in the future, and create a richer life for everyone involved.
May 312012
 

Christianity started out as a very liberal way of life. Take a look at the things Jesus personally did and said. A red-letter version of the New Testament will help. I won’t cite chapter and verse, but if you’re up for this discussion, you will already feel right at home.

Above all, Jesus lived and taught love. He even made the blunt assertion that “God is Love.” Jesus pointed out that the greatest law was Love – of God and neighbor – and he used the parable of a good Samaritan to point out that everyone is our neighbor.

In contrast to the popular idea that “you are on your own,” a core liberal belief is that “we are all in this together.” That is, we are all neighbors and need to care about our common good at every level, not just our own family or religion.

While teaching personal responsibility, Jesus also taught us to not focus overmuch on individual liberties. He washed his disciples’ feet to set an example of submitting in service to others.

Jesus really came down hard on the Pharisees. These were the nation’s  religious and political leaders. Often the wealthiest, they created, enforced, and defended a system of traditions and laws that supported and sustained their own positions of privilege and power.

The Pharisees claimed the high ground of faith and values, but Jesus condemned them and called them hypocrites. Notably, he drove money changers, members of the privileged financial elites, out of the temple.

Jesus was tolerant of those in other social classes; He ate with tax collectors and sinners and he cared about the health and welfare of all. He gave his gifts freely to the poor and downhearted and he encouraged others to do so as well.

Finally, stop a moment to contemplate the fact that Jesus, along with folks such as Martin Luther. were the radical liberals of their time. They took issue with the existing systems of unfair power, privilege, and oppression. Without extending the point too far, they were, in fact, progressive community organizers.

©2012, David Satterlee

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Mar 042012
 

I woke up in the middle of the night with a fully-realized insight:
”Liberals are just former conservatives who have relearned the True Meaning of Christmas.”

If you do a Google image search of “true meaning of Christmas,” you find lots of Christmas trees, mangers, and Peanuts kids. That’s stop one; that’s for conservatives. If you keep looking very hard you find some different images that emphasize expressions of love, being compassionate, doing good, teaching, serving, feeding, and healing.

imagejesus_washing_apostles_feet_parson_l[1]

Yeah, you’vejust kinda gotta go with the tender, caring spirit of that last one.

One last comment in closing:

Jesus was “the good shepherd.” He washed feet, gathered children to himself,  recommended being a “good Samaritan,” fed the hungry, and healed the sick.

Jesus showed compassion for the 99%: the poor and the common people including sinners, lepers, tax collectors, and prostitutes.

On the other hand, Jesus really had it in for parasites such as money changers in the temple (who, instead of laboring, were making money off of others by exchanging money) and Pharisees (who were religious lawmakers who “tied heavy burdens upon others”).

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Jan 182011
 

by David Satterlee

Source: “Pursuing Human Strengths,” Martin Bolt, Preface

The weakness of psychology, during its short history as a science, has been its primary focus on human weaknesses rather than on human strengths. That began to change dramatically when Martin Seligman was elected president of the American Psychological Association. Seligman leveraged his research on learned helplessness and hopelessness into a new focus on learned optimism and happiness.

A primary focus of positive psychology is on human strengths, a core set of virtues. The intent is to study, measure, and understand these strengths so that they can be purposefully developed, increasing both subjective and objective psychological well-being. Continue reading »

Oct 272010
 

The Two Heroes of Thompsonville

by David Satterlee

Thompsonville was nowhere. It was a town of modest size and not completely isolated, but mostly self-sufficient with its own traditions and community standards. The railroads had passed it by during the great expansion. The express highways had passed it by as well. It was too hilly for a canal – it was too flat for a reservoir. No native son ever grew up to be a governor or general. No one ever started a museum of tiny carved furniture or old farm implements. It was just a nice out-of-the-way place to live. As a matter of fact, it was a nice place to grow old and die if you didn’t wander off in search of something-or-other first.

Labith didn’t just wander off. He hit the road with a vengeance. He had loved his childhood sweetheart, Roatrine for as long as he could remember. They had played together as babies, studied together in school and, in the course of time, come to know each other very, very well. How could Roatrine refuse to marry him now? Why would she invent such a trivial excuse to cut off their friendship? Her parents, Robance and Rosatrine, weren’t the problem; they had always liked him and had given their enthusiastic approval when Labith had asked to formally court their daughter.

Labith was inconsolable. He wandered the hills and found no comfort. He immersed himself in the labor of clearing a new field and found no distraction. Roatrine possessed his heart and haunted his mind. Her ready smile and quick wit filled his thoughts while her silken skin and flowing hair filled his dreams. His mother, Salabith, advised him to be patient and he was. His father, Robance, eventually encouraged him to renew his affections with gifts and sweet words and he did. But, nothing he could think of could change his true love’s mind. “Do you love me?” “Yes.” “Will you marry me?” “I’m sorry, No!”

Some people would have eventually given up and resigned themselves to their fate. But for Labith, there was nothing else to do but keep on seeking. He couldn’t stand the pain of always seeing his beloved around town each day. He couldn’t not always watch for her either. Who else walked with such grace and poise? Who else shared his joys and values? Only Roatrine. And so, Labith, filled with the urgency of intolerable desperation, left. He left his family and his friends and his community. He left their traditions and … well, he left the life he knew behind.

It is truly a big world and Labith, stunned to the core of his soul, traveled. He met people. He read books. He questioned authority. Labith pondered the nature of reality and law and truth. Assailed by ideas and forces that were new to him he found himself, in many ways, even more desperate and alienated than before he left. But, being a man of courage and character, he transcended his previous limits and views. His transformation brought freedom of thought and action. He now knew what he had to do.

People in Thompsonville welcomed Labith back, but watched him with unabashed curiosity. Naturally, he sought out his beloved Roatrine straight away. They walked down by the water path and sat under their favorite tree and they talked. Labith told her where he had gone and what he had learned. He told her how much he loved her and that he still wanted to raise a family with her. Labith told her that if they had a girl, it wouldn’t have to be named Latrine but that they could call her Becky or Marge or something else. “Oh!” said Roatrine, “What a good idea! This changes everything!”

I hadn’t been writing for a while following a move to our dream home in the woods. It was time to get into harness. It was exercise time. I sat down with no agenda and no plot; just the intent to write a short story. My fingers typed “Thompsonville.” Okay, that’s a start. I started describing the town. Then a character jumped in and so did his angst. In the middle of it all, I remembered recently talking to a customer service representative on the telephone. Her name was Latrina. I had pointed it out to my wife: “What parents would name their daughter “Latrina?” We were aware that it has become popular to name children using parts of their parent’s names. Now, what if it were a fixed, immutable, unchallenged tradition in this town?

You DID notice that the names were a conjugation of the first part of the father’s name and the last part of the mother’s name. Curiously, the name of the town is built using a different set of rules.

I have deliberately used pairs of thoughts and pairs of adjectives in the structure of this story. It was intended to be a reflection of how all the names were composed of two parts.

Copyright 2009, 2010 David Satterlee

Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License, which essentially says that you are free to share the work under the conditions that you attribute it fully, do not use it for commercial purposes, and do not alter it.

Oct 262010
 

by David Satterlee

Source: “Pursuing Human Strengths,” Martin Bolt, Preface

The weakness of psychology, during its short history as a science, has been its primary focus on human weaknesses rather than on human strengths. That began to change dramatically when Martin Seligman was elected president of the American Psychological Association. Seligman leveraged his research on learned helplessness and hopelessness into a new focus on learned optimism and happiness.

Continue reading »

Oct 012010
 

Is Social Psychology Best Left Unstudied?

by David Satterlee

Prompt: The late U.S. Senator William Proxmire of Wisconsin criticized the work of two prominent social psychologists when he stated that, "Americans want to leave some things in life a mystery, and right at the top of things we don’t want to know is why a man and a woman fall in love."  How do you feel about Sen. Proxmire’s position?  Are there some things in life best left unstudied?

Continue reading »

Oct 012010
 

Starting a New Career

by David Satterlee

Fergus and his wife Dorothy are middle-aged. Actually, they are just past middle-aged in that wonderland of freedom and possibility that exists while there is still ambition and the potential for growth but, at the same time, incipient mortality is a boil on the ass that prevents one from sitting idle. Dorothy is retiring early as a social worker and Fergus is disabled. Hard lives are threatening to get harder, but they have plans to do creative work together.

Fergus wakes with a mild surge of adrenaline, which, even when mild, is disturbing. Suddenly awake, he mentally reconnects with his ears, takes an inventory of the little noises around him, scans the dimly lit ceiling for a few moments and finally, beginning to relax, he glances at the clock. It is 3:38 am and he needs to pee. Raising his feet to a near fetal position to avoid disturbing the cat curled head-to-ass in a perfect yin/yang circle at his shins, he slides gently out of the bed. He is also especially careful to not disturb his gently snoring wife who is snuggled up to his rump. Everything is going well. He swings to the side and slides deftly to his feet with practiced precision, stands, checks his balance with the knuckles of his left hand, which deliberately brush the wall for orientation and stability. So far, so good.

Treading gently past the antique Chinese secretary’s desk, its close-hung doors squeak an alarm nonetheless. Busted. Dorothy jerks suddenly, sending the cat leaping into the void beyond the bed, raises up on her elbow, and mumbles with urgent concern, “Is everything okay?” “Yes,” Fergus assures her, “I just need to go to the bathroom.” “So do I,” she replies, “but you go first.”

Dorothy is a treasure. Fergus would do anything for her, even going first without posturing to be gallant and insisting that she precede him. Flooded with affection, he sits back down on the mattress edge and caresses her newly-emerged foot. He starts the game: “Have I told you yet today that I love you?” She responds in character and replies with a pout:”No, not yet.” The small episode concludes with the obligatory speech: “Darling, you are the light of my life, my joy, and everything that is precious to me. I cherish you beyond reason and would slay the fiercest beast to set a kindly path before your feet. I rejoice in the labors of our love: the work that we have shared, the children that we have raised, the friends we have comforted, and the future we will face step by step and hand in hand. I love you.” As always, the affirmation is sealed with a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“I was having a dream, Fergus explains.” He should know better; she will ask for details. Dorothy asks for details. “I had finally found some work I could do and a place that would have me. A University research department hired me to keep things up around one of their labs. First, they discovered that I not only knew my way around computers, but could make them roll over and tell jokes. Then, I revealed that I had experience maintaining analytical systems like their chromatographs and dielectrophoretic separators. After just a few days there, the director decided to redirect research into the properties of materials at ultra-cold temperatures. When he found out that I already knew how to operate high vacuum systems and handle the liquid nitrogen needed by mass spectrophotometers, he asked me to also be responsible for commissioning and overseeing the proper care of the new equipment. It was like going to heaven; I got three promotions in two weeks.” Dorothy smiles with patient tolerance and reminds him, “I love you too, but you’d better get to it soon or I’m going to wet the bed.” His response is certain and reassuring: “As you wish, my bride.” Centering his breath and remembering to live in mindful awareness, he gets up and leaves the still-darkened room to go do his business.

Flipping the wall switch by the bathroom door, Fergus is momentarily blinded and feels a disorienting wave of vertigo. His knuckles seek the reassurance of the door frame, while he squints and feels as if flowing into infinite brightness. A diffuse figure before him smiles gently in greeting, urges him to be unafraid and at peace, and pointedly inquires about what he has learned and how he has loved in life.

Copyright 2009, David Satterlee

Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License, which essentially says that you are free to share the work under the conditions that you attribute it fully, do not use it for commercial purposes, and do not alter it.

Sep 302010
 

Grandma’s Precious Things

by David Satterlee

I always love when Grandma comes
to visit with us here.
It’s like a special holiday
to have my Grandma near.

I like it when she reads to me
while sitting on her lap.
I like it when she sings a song
to me before my nap.

And so one day I told my Mom
it didn’t seem too fair
that Grandma only came to us
but we’d not visit there.

“Why can’t we go to Grandma’s house?
I really want to know.
I like when she comes over here
because I love her so.”

=====================

My Mama looked real funny and
she sat me on a chair.
I wondered what was wrong that she
had made me sit right there.

She frowned again and looked at me
while thinking what to say.
I’m really glad she smiled at last
and talked to me that day.

“I know you love your Grandma and
I know she loves you too.
She loves to come and see us and
she loves to visit you.

“But Grandma’s place is different than
our house where children play.
She has a lot of precious things
that you might hurt some day.

======================

“You’ll break her chickens made of glass
and all her precious things.
You’ll tear the pages in her books
and try on all her rings.

“You’ll run around your Grandma’s house
and jump on all her chairs.
You’ll slide on all her little rugs
and bump down all her stairs.

“You’ll open all her closets up
and try on all her clothes.
You’ll use her pretty table cloth
to wipe your drippy nose.

“You’ll run around pretending that
you’re flying in the air.
You’ll make her yellow tabby cat
go hide beneath the chair.”

======================

It made me sad to think about
the things that mother said.
I almost felt like crying as
I laid there in my bed.

I really wouldn’t want to break
my Grandma’s precious stuff.
I only want to visit her
and wouldn’t play too rough.

I’d only play with just the things
that Grandma let me touch.
I truly would be quiet there
and not make noise so much.

The rules are sometimes different when
you’re in another place.
If only they would let me go
I wouldn’t run and chase.

======================

So when I woke tomorrow I
would tell my mother that
I promised to be careful and
leave stuff where it was at.

I’d try to be more thoughtful and
I’d walk instead of run.
I’d talk instead of shouting but
I still could have some fun.

I’d ask to see her pictures of
the places she had been.
I’d listen to her stories of
our family way back when.

And so it really happened that
we got into the car
and went to visit Grandma’s house.
It wasn’t very far.

=======================

My Grandma smiled and said that she
was glad that we were there.
She said that she had baked a batch
of cookies we could share.

I mostly looked but didn’t touch
but that was really hard.
So once or twice they told me I
should go play in the yard.

When I came in I had to wipe
my feet upon a mat.
She let me jump from just two steps
and pet the yellow cat.

She told me stories of the time
when Mother had been small;
before the time that I was born
and wasn’t here at all.

======================

Of course she hugged and kissed me and
she told she would care
about how I was growing and
that I was welcome there.

She said that she had noticed that
I didn’t tease the cat
and that I paid attention to
the place where I was at.

“But you,” she said, “mean more to me
than any fancy thing.
I’m grateful for your visit and
you make my old heart sing.

“I want you to remember though
that when the day is through,
of all the things I care about,
my precious thing is you.”

 

Copyright 2004, David Satterlee

Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License, which essentially says that you are free to share the work under the conditions that you attribute it fully, do not use it for commercial purposes, and do not alter it.

Sep 252010
 

Self Improvement – Know Your Self

If it is to be, it’s up to me!

Jack of Bakersfield, California, endorses the motto: “If it is to be, it’s up to me!”

If you fail to act, things will gradually come apart. Your plow will rust, termites will devour your walls and your distributors will loose interest. It is a universal law that things will become increasingly disorganized if left alone. Thus, we all have a responsibility to continuously invest intelligent, creative energy into making things more organized. I do not believe that things can become increasingly organized on their own without the directed energy of a creative worker. So, if you want something to happen, you had better get out there, plan, invest your time and energy and take responsibility to make it happen.

“Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly, even if they roll a few more upon it.”
-Albert Schweitzer

“But then if I do not strive, who will?”
-Chuang Tzu

How to Test Your Motives

The ideal motive for running your network business is service to others. You may draw your faith in this principle from the teachings of Jesus or the concept of Karma, but the principle is sound. The trick is to not anticipate that repayment at the time you are performing an act of service.

Sometimes, however, your life situation puts a lot of pressure on you. Many of the people who are moved to begin a network business do so because they already have financial problems and need money now. That makes it real hard to avoid visualizing their neighbor’s product purchase as their children’s school shoes. If this is your situation, do what you must from the need to do it. Relief from poverty by earnest endeavor is an honorable motive and most people will respond kindly to your work. (And you may just introduce them to the business opportunity that they need to solve their own problems.)

The real problems of motivation are those people who see network marketing as their ticket to riches through the work of others. They are shameless, pushy and shallow. There’s nothing wrong with looking forward to earning a car allowance or a TAC trip. But, if you spend all your time dreaming about retiring early and how important you’ll look in your fancy yacht, then shame on you.

“It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.”
-Bertrand Russell

Know thyself

I’ve known some people who are a mess. They don’t understand themselves and they don’t understand anyone else either. They don’t know what they want out of life and cast around randomly and unsuccessfully for affection, approval and control. They change jobs and spouses; nothing seems to make them happy. They may live dangerously to feel “alive” or they may resort to chemicals to hide from their desperate emptiness.

Knowing yourself not only means understanding your values and needs, but also having mastery of your goals, emotions and relationships. When you know what good things bring you a sense of satisfaction and purpose, you can invest your life cultivating, harvesting and distributing that goodness.

“Thoroughly to know oneself, is above all art, for it is the highest art.”
-Theologia Germanica

“To know oneself, one should assert oneself.”
-Albert Camus

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
-George Eliot

“Being in business is not about money. It is a way to become who you are.”
-Paul Hawken

The pleasures of dedicated work

There is nothing like dedicated, focused attention to make things flow. Somehow, when you get completely involved, time seems to stand still and everything gets easier. It’s like all the circuits in your brain line up to keep you on track. In fact, being fully absorbed in work is a distinctly pleasurable state of mind.

According to a manager in Texas: “It’s easy if you are willing to work hard and if you have the desire to achieve. It’s difficult if you aren’t dedicated to the work and the company. When I decided to dedicate myself full-time to an NSP business, it became much easier for me to achieve my business goals. The very reason I’ve worked all these years with the same endeavor is because I enjoy helping people find natural answers to their dietary concerns, and talking about health and nutrition with them in words they are comfortable with and can understand.”

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
-Patanjali 

Approval and control

What are the things that you really, down deep, want in life? Almost anything you can think of boils down to some form of approval or control. That makes the desire to feel approved and in control the most powerful influence for good or bad in our lives.

My sponsor urged me to learn to “release” on my desires for approval and control. She explained that they bound me to the responses of people who weren’t even aware of their influence. In addition, these emotions especially bound me to manipulative people who had no interest in my welfare.

While discussing competition, my wife told me that women compete for approval but men compete for control. Have you noticed that tendency? You can use that information to help motivate the people you talk to.

“The hook is your desire to be approved by others. The bait is any kind of reward. The minute you go for the bait, the game is playing you. You are no longer playing the game. You get serious.”
-Laurence G. Boldt

Waiting ’till later – the classic negator

“I’ll do it tomorrow.” – “Tomorrow never comes.”

Be careful to not say “tomorrow” when you really mean “not today.” Procrastination is the perfect way to put something off forever. It negates your good intentions. The best way to fight procrastination is do things right away. There’s no time like the present.

Setting deadlines helps you to avoid being forced to rush at the last minute. Try to finish your monthly goals during the first 2 weeks. Place your orders early.

“We take no note of time, but from its loss.”

“Procrastination is the thief of time.”
-Edward Young

“To be contented is noble, but to be lethargic does not enable one to benefit men or to utilize things.”
-Hung Tzu Ch’eng

“Tomorrow is another day”
-Scarlet O’Hara, Gone With the Wind

Buy some flowers

Show your appreciation. Buy some flowers for someone who needs a lift or needs to know that you care. Flowers are truly special. They convey a special sense of tenderness and friendship. Buy some flowers for yourself too. You deserve it. You’ve been working hard and doing good. Take charge of brightening your day and giving yourself a lift.

You don’t have to limit yourself to flowers, of course. There are so many ways to show your appreciation! Search constantly to find ways to brighten someone’s day. At Hewlett-Packard Company an engineer burst into his supervisor’s office to announce that he’d solved an important problem. The manager groped in his desk for some way to give an immediate reward and came up with the banana from his lunch. The “Golden Banana Award” is now one of the highest honors an HP employee can receive.

“The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”
-William Wordsworth

Looking Good

The most important part of looking good is a smile born of genuine happiness. Inner beauty always brings out the best in people. It is not necessary to have the best clothes or most perfect hair and makeup but your attitudes will affect your appearance.

Respect for yourself and others demands keeping clean and being “presentable.” I don’t know which comes first, self-esteem or dressing well, but they seem to reinforce each other. My great grandparents used to put on their better clothes when they left the house. It was a matter of respect for themselves and others. People today seem to want to be more “casual” but that is no excuse for being slovenly.

Mary Kay Ash (chairman of Mary Kay Cosmetics) says: “While clothes may not make the woman, they certainly have a strong effect on her self-confidence – which, I believe, does make the woman.”

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.”
-Christopher Lasch

“What you see is what you get.”
-Flip Wilson

Love: The best motivation

The real sustaining power to keep you going is love. When you love people, you just HAVE to show them how they can feel better and be healthier. Can you imagine a finer motivation?

Bonnie feels this way: “Love the people and be very concerned with other people’s feelings. If we love people, we have the right attitude to be in the people business. As you help them get what they want, they will help you get what you want. Treat each other like family, and like you want to be treated. It works – it’s tried and tested.”

“It’s motive alone that gives character to the actions of men.”
-Jean de la Bruyere

Zest for life

They know you’re dead when you quit moving. Zest for life is the joyous energy that keeps us moving, playing and working. If that were to go away, we would start losing mental and muscle tone rapidly.

Zest for life is infectious. It is a gift that you automatically share with everyone you meet. People like to be near you when you have infectious enthusiasm.

The sense of optimism that you bring to your life and work increases your chances of success in any endeavor and contributes to your health and ability to deal with stressful situations.

“I am only one, but still I am one; I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do.”
-Helen Keller

“A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.”
-Mother Teresa

Copyright 1996, 2010, David Satterlee

Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License, which essentially says that you are free to share the work under the conditions that you attribute it fully, do not use it for commercial purposes, and do not alter it.

Sep 242010
 

Self Improvement – Know Yourself

If it is to be, it’s up to me!

Jack of Bakersfield, California, endorses the motto: "If it is to be, it’s up to me!"

If you fail to act, things will gradually come apart. Your plow will rust, termites will devour your walls and your distributors will loose interest. It is a universal law that things will become increasingly disorganized if left alone. Thus, we all have a responsibility to continuously invest intelligent, creative energy into making things more organized. I do not believe that things can become increasingly organized on their own without the directed energy of a creative worker. So, if you want something to happen, you had better get out there, plan, invest your time and energy and take responsibility to make it happen.

"Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly, even if they roll a few more upon it."
-Albert Schweitzer

"But then if I do not strive, who will?"
-Chuang Tzu

How to Test Your Motives

The ideal motive for running your network business is service to others. You may draw your faith in this principle from the teachings of Jesus or the concept of Karma, but the principle is sound. The trick is to not anticipate that repayment at the time you are performing an act of service.

Sometimes, however, your life situation puts a lot of pressure on you. Many of the people who are moved to begin a network business do so because they already have financial problems and need money now. That makes it real hard to avoid visualizing their neighbor’s product purchase as their children’s school shoes. If this is your situation, do what you must from the need to do it. Relief from poverty by earnest endeavor is an honorable motive and most people will respond kindly to your work. (And you may just introduce them to the business opportunity that they need to solve their own problems.)

The real problems of motivation are those people who see network marketing as their ticket to riches through the work of others. They are shameless, pushy and shallow. There’s nothing wrong with looking forward to earning a car allowance or a TAC trip. But, if you spend all your time dreaming about retiring early and how important you’ll look in your fancy yacht, then shame on you.

"It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly."
-Bertrand Russell

Know thyself

I’ve known some people who are a mess. They don’t understand themselves and they don’t understand anyone else either. They don’t know what they want out of life and cast around randomly and unsuccessfully for affection, approval and control. They change jobs and spouses; nothing seems to make them happy. They may live dangerously to feel "alive" or they may resort to chemicals to hide from their desperate emptiness.

Knowing yourself not only means understanding your values and needs, but also having mastery of your goals, emotions and relationships. When you know what good things bring you a sense of satisfaction and purpose, you can invest your life cultivating, harvesting and distributing that goodness.

"Thoroughly to know oneself, is above all art, for it is the highest art."
-Theologia Germanica

"To know oneself, one should assert oneself."
-Albert Camus

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
-George Eliot

"Being in business is not about money. It is a way to become who you are."
-Paul Hawken

The pleasures of dedicated work

There is nothing like dedicated, focused attention to make things flow. Somehow, when you get completely involved, time seems to stand still and everything gets easier. It’s like all the circuits in your brain line up to keep you on track. In fact, being fully absorbed in work is a distinctly pleasurable state of mind.

According to a manager in Texas: "It’s easy if you are willing to work hard and if you have the desire to achieve. It’s difficult if you aren’t dedicated to the work and the company. When I decided to dedicate myself full-time to an NSP business, it became much easier for me to achieve my business goals. The very reason I’ve worked all these years with the same endeavor is because I enjoy helping people find natural answers to their dietary concerns, and talking about health and nutrition with them in words they are comfortable with and can understand."

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
-Patanjali 

Approval and control

What are the things that you really, down deep, want in life? Almost anything you can think of boils down to some form of approval or control. That makes the desire to feel approved and in control the most powerful influence for good or bad in our lives.

My sponsor urged me to learn to “release” on my desires for approval and control. She explained that they bound me to the responses of people who weren’t even aware of their influence. In addition, these emotions especially bound me to manipulative people who had no interest in my welfare.

While discussing competition, my wife told me that women compete for approval but men compete for control. Have you noticed that tendency? You can use that information to help motivate the people you talk to.

"The hook is your desire to be approved by others. The bait is any kind of reward. The minute you go for the bait, the game is playing you. You are no longer playing the game. You get serious."
-Laurence G. Boldt

Waiting ’till later – the classic negator

"I’ll do it tomorrow." – "Tomorrow never comes."

Be careful to not say "tomorrow" when you really mean "not today." Procrastination is the perfect way to put something off forever. It negates your good intentions. The best way to fight procrastination is do things right away. There’s no time like the present.

Setting deadlines helps you to avoid being forced to rush at the last minute. Try to finish your monthly goals during the first 2 weeks. Place your orders early.

"We take no note of time, but from its loss."

"Procrastination is the thief of time."
-Edward Young

"To be contented is noble, but to be lethargic does not enable one to benefit men or to utilize things."
-Hung Tzu Ch’eng

"Tomorrow is another day"
-Scarlet O’Hara, Gone With the Wind

Buy some flowers

Show your appreciation. Buy some flowers for someone who needs a lift or needs to know that you care. Flowers are truly special. They convey a special sense of tenderness and friendship. Buy some flowers for yourself too. You deserve it. You’ve been working hard and doing good. Take charge of brightening your day and giving yourself a lift.

You don’t have to limit yourself to flowers, of course. There are so many ways to show your appreciation! Search constantly to find ways to brighten someone’s day. At Hewlett-Packard Company an engineer burst into his supervisor’s office to announce that he’d solved an important problem. The manager groped in his desk for some way to give an immediate reward and came up with the banana from his lunch. The "Golden Banana Award" is now one of the highest honors an HP employee can receive.

"The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love."
-William Wordsworth

Looking Good

The most important part of looking good is a smile born of genuine happiness. Inner beauty always brings out the best in people. It is not necessary to have the best clothes or most perfect hair and makeup but your attitudes will affect your appearance.

Respect for yourself and others demands keeping clean and being "presentable." I don’t know which comes first, self-esteem or dressing well, but they seem to reinforce each other. My great grandparents used to put on their better clothes when they left the house. It was a matter of respect for themselves and others. People today seem to want to be more "casual" but that is no excuse for being slovenly.

Mary Kay Ash (chairman of Mary Kay Cosmetics) says: "While clothes may not make the woman, they certainly have a strong effect on her self-confidence – which, I believe, does make the woman."

"Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success."
-Christopher Lasch

"What you see is what you get."
-Flip Wilson

Love: The best motivation

The real sustaining power to keep you going is love. When you love people, you just HAVE to show them how they can feel better and be healthier. Can you imagine a finer motivation?

Bonnie feels this way: "Love the people and be very concerned with other people’s feelings. If we love people, we have the right attitude to be in the people business. As you help them get what they want, they will help you get what you want. Treat each other like family, and like you want to be treated. It works – it’s tried and tested."

"It’s motive alone that gives character to the actions of men."
-Jean de la Bruyere

Zest for life

They know you’re dead when you quit moving. Zest for life is the joyous energy that keeps us moving, playing and working. If that were to go away, we would start losing mental and muscle tone rapidly.

Zest for life is infectious. It is a gift that you automatically share with everyone you meet. People like to be near you when you have infectious enthusiasm.

The sense of optimism that you bring to your life and work increases your chances of success in any endeavor and contributes to your health and ability to deal with stressful situations.

"I am only one, but still I am one; I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do."
-Helen Keller

"A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love."
-Mother Teresa

Copyright 1996, 2010, David Satterlee

Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License, which essentially says that you are free to share the work under the conditions that you attribute it fully, do not use it for commercial purposes, and do not alter it.