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Course Description
Professors Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury lecture on families and couples. This course examines relationships and their connection to individual psychopathology, marital discord, and family disruption.
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Course Description
Professors Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury lecture on families and couples. This course examines relationships and their connection to individual psychopathology, marital discord, and family disruption.
Related posts
Course Description
Professors Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury lecture on families and couples. This course examines relationships and their connection to individual psychopathology, marital discord, and family disruption.
Related posts
Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 7
Bodily Pleasures
Pleasures are transient raw feelings that spring from sensory satisfactions along with positive emotional responses. These may be rudimentary sensations or the product of complex activities that require mental interpretations. Pleasures fade quickly when the stimulus is removed, and one may become habituated to them.
Higher Pleasures
Higher pleasures are likewise, raw, transient, and habituable. The distinction is that although sensual, they require rational cognitive processing to assign meaning.
Gratifications
Gratifications are engaging activities that may be reflected upon with satisfaction. These activities are the products of our human strengths and virtues.
Enhancing the Pleasures
The key to enhancing pleasure is to repeat sparingly, sample widely, and savor mindfully.
- Habituation and worse
The transient pleasures of sensation cannot produce lasting happiness. Increasing the intensity or frequency of the sensation only reduces the satisfaction with each event; this is a simple matter of the design of our neurological systems. Addictive responses to habituation can become not only unsatisfying, but damaging.
- Savoring
[Ref: Fred B. Bryant and Joseph Veroff, Loyola University] “The awareness of pleasure and of the deliberate conscious attention to the experience of pleasure.” To promote savoring:
- Share with others
- Memory-building
- Self-congratulation
- Sharpening perceptions
- Absorption
- Mindfulness
We usually fail to take notice of most of our experience, acting without much thought. Classically, this is due to allowing our mental activities to be flooded with unregulated stimulation and unsupervised thoughts. Mindfulness is a product of the maturity necessary to give deliberate attention to only the events at hand.
- “Have a beautiful day”
A student is assigned to “have a beautiful day.” This is not as easy as it sounds. Use the techniques mentioned above. Don’t let yourself become any more than momentarily distracted.
The Gratifications
Happiness can be obtained from both pleasures and gratifications. [See top of article.] Pleasures are associated with “the pleasant life.” Gratifications are associated with “the good life.” Gratifications are available abundantly to even those disadvantaged who are deprived of many potential pleasures. – “What is the good life?” Aristotle
The reader is recommended to Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
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Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 6
Permanence
Permanence and is about time. Permanence reflects thinking in terms of “always” or “never.” Believing that the causes of bad events are permanent may cause one to give up too easily and give in to feelings of helplessness. Believing that the causes of good events are permanent contributes to optimism.
Pervasiveness
Pervasiveness is about space. Pervasiveness reflects the degree to which good or bad events affect unrelated aspects of life. Pervasiveness distinguishes between universal and specific explanations.
Hope
Hope is associated with permanent and universal explanations of good events as well as temporary and specific explanations for misfortunes. Hopeful people recover from troubles more rapidly and are better able to sustain successes.
Increasing optimism and hope
Most people never hesitate to accept negative self talk. To build optimism and hope one must recognize and then dispute pessimistic thoughts.
Martin Seligman uses the ABCDE model of disputing pessimistic thoughts. A – Adversity is the event that stimulates negative self talk. B – Belief is the set of established assumptions that contribute to negativity. C – Consequences… D – Disputation… E – Energization…
Learning to Argue with Yourself
- Evidence – A negative belief may disappear if you consider it analytically and demand supporting evidence from yourself.
- Alternatives – Consider alternative causes. These may indicate different meanings to an even that what you previously assigned. Especially seek alternatives that are changeable, specific, and nonpersonal.
- Implications – Realistically, how bad are the implications? What would have been the worst possible outcome? It could have been worse. Decatastrophize the event.
- Usefulness – Is this belief useful? Does it produce good? Am I expecting something that is unlikely? What factors of the event are under my control?
Disputation record
During future adverse events, keep a record of your mental steps. Pay attention to your thoughts, consider alternative beliefs and meanings, observe possible consequences of various beliefs, and observe the energy of choosing alternatives to negativity.
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Source: “The Miracle of Mindfulness,” Thich Nhat Hanh
Chapter 1: The Essential Discipline
The essential discipline is to be undivided. While doing a thing, one should be fully attentive to that thing. Multi tasking undermines this essential discipline. The essential discipline consciously acknowledges and dismisses awareness of every thought and action.
Chapter 2: The Miracle Is to Walk on Earth
“Walking on earth” is to account each moment and event as a miracle, worthy of appreciation. It is founded on a calm heart and self control. Every breath, like every step, but should be taken mindfully. One’s breath resides on the boundary between voluntary and involuntary control. Learning breath control facilitates learning control of all other things, particularly the mind. Like breathing, meditation is not done in an occasional bit of time set aside; it should become a constant element of life.
Chapter 3: A Day of Mindfulness
In learning perpetual mindfulness it may be helpful to set aside full days devoted entirely to practice. Live that day in a spirit of silence. Give each task you complete attention, slowly, with reverence, and without rushing or future anticipation.
Chapter 4: The Pebble
It can be helpful, during seated meditation, to contemplate the image of a pebble thrown into a river. Associate yourself with at pebble. It sinks, moves, and rests patiently without effort. This practice is relaxation, a tranquil heart, and a clear mind. Instead of allowing our minds to be agitated without control, we become aware of our perceptions, feelings, and thoughts—and acknowledge them without judgment or distinction or disturbance.
Chapter 5: One Is All, All Is One: The Five Aggregates
While meditating, welcome the perception of unity, coherence, interdependence, and oneness of all things. Awareness of anything, whether external or even of mind itself, is simply mind. Whether we are conscious of body, physical forms, feelings, perceptions, or mental functioning, there is nothing but objects of the mind: consciousness itself. The entire universe can be perceived as present in every perceivable thing. There need be no divisions: all is one. We are fully interdependent with all. Our life and death are intrinsic to the same reality that all things perpetually ride. Accept that reality is as it is.
Chapter 6: The Almond Tree in Your Front Yard
Buddhism identifies three types of reality: imagination, interdependence, and ultimate perfection. Yet, this introduces unnecessary and inappropriate distinctions and discriminations. Continuing meditation allows you to realize that subject and object are one. Any arbitrary object, such as an almond tree in your front yard, when contemplated, reveals an interrelatedness and unifying communion.
Most people are afflicted with false views, which produce hatred, ignorance, and anger. All things, starting with yourself and others, should be viewed with a compassionate heart. Perfect compassion identifies with the nature and needs of all things.
Mindfulness produces a state that is restful and content while still awake and alert. It serenely recognizes and accepts what is without judgment—everything is sacred. Further, the mindfulness of any sentient being supports and benefits all others. “When any great Master is born, the water in the rivers turns clearer and the plants grow greener.”
Chapter 7: Three Wondrous Answers
Know that the best time to do each thing is now; that the most important person is the one you’re with; the most important thing to do is to serve and make happy the person with you.
Exercises in Mindfulness
Smile serenely. Let go. Follow your breath. Be mindful in every time and in every activity. Learn the peace of non-doing. Contemplate interdependence, unity, and universal compassion. Seek detachment from dependence on specific outcomes.
Seeing With the Eyes of Compassion
Even under extreme provocation, we can develop and exercise control and compassion. Every moment is suitable for cultivation of mindfulness.
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Course Description
Professors Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury lecture on families and couples. This course examines relationships and their connection to individual psychopathology, marital discord, and family disruption.
Related posts
Source: “Pursuing Human Strengths” Martin Bolt, Chapter 8
Optimism and Psychological Well-being
Optimism is associated with a positive mood, a higher morale, and psychological health. Optimism helps us to resist distress from a wide range of sources.
Optimism and Physical Well-being
Optimistic people feel better, are healthier, and live longer. They have stronger immune systems recover faster from trauma.
Realistic Optimism
Realistic optimism avoids wishful thinking while maintaining a positive future outlook. Unrealistic optimism underestimates risks and may discourage appropriate preventive actions such as using contraceptives or quitting smoking.
Explanatory Styles and Coping Strategies
Optimists tend to explain problems in terms that are temporary, specific, and external, leading to initiatives to resolve the problem. Pessimists tend to explain problems in terms that are stable, global, and internal, creating a feeling of helplessness.
Charles Holahan and Rudolph Moos identified three coping strategies: active-cognitive strategies affect thoughts, active-behavioral strategies modify situations, and avoidance strategies inhibit awareness.
Psychology of Hope
We are intrinsically goal directed and readily imagine possibilities. Hope reflects both willpower and perceived ability (waypower).
Goals
Strategies for goal setting include clearly establishing desired outcomes in all major areas of life. Bowls should be periodically reviewed, added, and deleted as necessary. Goals should be visualized as vividly in concretely as possible. Goal should be prioritized, with important ones receiving the most attention.
Learning optimism
Reflecting on previous successes reaffirms our potential for future success. We must understand adversity, and create beliefs that have real consequences.
Communal hope
Hope and happiness usually exist within the context of a community. Social support networks increased hope in all manner of situations. Individualism can be damaging to hope. Hopeful goals are best when they seek to serve and benefit others.
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Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 5
Gratitude Survey
(Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons)
1 = Strongly disagree – 7 = Strongly agree
- I have so much in life to be thankful for.
- If I had to list everything that I felt grateful for, it would be a very long list.
- When I look at the world, I don’t see much to be grateful for.
- I am grateful to a wide variety of people.
- As I get older, I find myself more able to appreciate the people, events, and situations that have been part of my life history.
- Long amounts of time can go by before I feel grateful to something or someone.
(Reverse scores on 3, 6) 6-35 Lower Quarter, 36-38 bottom half, 39-41 top four, 42 top eighth
Gratitude journal
Suggestion to keep a record for 14 days, noting the things for which you are grateful. Racket the exercise with the Life Satisfaction and General Happiness scales to compare scores. But
Feelings about the past depend on memory interpretation and assigned meaning. Gratitude amplifies good feelings about the past. The opposite is also true.
As a South African leader, Nelson Mandela redirected past bitterness toward reonciliation.
Some believe that righteous anger honors the victim and promotes justice.
How to forgive – REACH
- Recall the hurt objectively
- Empathize with others
- Altruistically give the gift of forgiveness
- Commit to forgive publicly
- Hold onto forgiveness that
Weighing up your life
Find a time annually to evaluate your life satisfaction and compare it with previous years.
Summary
3 ways to feel happier about the past
- Intellectual-determined that the past does not dictate your future
- Become more grateful for the good things in your past
- Learn how to forgive past wrongs
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Source: “Authentic Happiness,” Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Chapter 5
Satisfaction with Life Scale
1 = Strongly disagree – 7 = Strongly agree
- · In most ways, my life is close to my ideal.
- · The conditions of my life are excellent.
- · I am completely satisfied my life.
- · So far, I have gotten the important things I want in life.
- · If I could live my life over, I would change nothing.
30-35 Extremely satisfied, much above average 25-29 Very satisfied, above average 20-24 Somewhat satisfied, average for American adults 15-19 Slightly dissatisfied, a bit below average 10-14 Dissatisfied, clearly below average 5-9 Very dissatisfied, much below average
Emotions about the past
May include: contentment, serenity, pride, satisfaction—bitterness, anger
Determined by thoughts and assigned meaning
Freudian view: The content of thought is caused by emotion
Aaron Beck – The leading theorist of cognitive therapy: emotion is generated by cognition
The thinking/feeling connection
There is evidence for both thought driving feeling and for feeling driving thought
Dwelling in the past – does the past determine the future? (Generally no)
The more you believe that the past determines the future, the more passive you’ll be.
Charles Darwin believed that successful individuals contributed to species evolution through reproductive success.
Karl Marx believed that economic forces contributed to future developments.
Sigmund Freud believed that childhood experiences created later psychological characteristics
Effects of negative childhood events on adults
Effects of childhood on adulthood are probably overrated. The evidence is minor. Many studies did not control for genetic influences. This is the nature vs. nurture issue.
Cognitive therapy: Aaron (Tim) Beck invented cognitive therapy, a popular talk therapy for depression. It attempts to redirect negative talk about the past into positive thought about the present and future.
Venting anger: Venting has recently been considered authentic, honest, and healthy. It turns out that venting anger is not productive. Gratitude and savoring are, in fact, more healthful.
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